Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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