Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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