Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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