is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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