Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
