Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
