Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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