We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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