you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
