Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
