I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
