Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
