My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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