ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
