Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I want you more than these girls want KFC
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
