oh god the rape fog is back!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize