I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
