if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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