Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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