He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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