dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
