I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Sorry about my life...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
