I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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