I love black thongs
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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