We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
