you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
