Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
