dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
