I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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