No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
