problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
