Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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