Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
