And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
