There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
