Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
