She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Randomize
