I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
