you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize