so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
