I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
