are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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