I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
