Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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