people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
