Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize