Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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