Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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