What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
