if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
