Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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