So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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