we're blogging at a bar
Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
FUCK WHALES
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