omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
