State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my shit smells like andre
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
