i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
