There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
