you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
