good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
