I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
