I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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