somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
