Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
he puts the penis in happiness.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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