So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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