I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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