Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I love having hate sex.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
