What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
