she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
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