ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
