Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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