I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I didn't shave. On purpose
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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