You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
