I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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