Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
