im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
