i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
