We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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